absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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