the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
