I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
okay pat passed out under dana's car
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
