the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
