Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
