mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
