His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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