i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
