did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
