why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
