it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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