mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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