Can i not drive my cunt home
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
