i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Everyone says I win the strip club
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
