i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
