She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
