the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
