it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
