Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Randomize
