I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
