put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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