Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
