redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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