We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
