I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
