I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
