People with herpes should wear stickers.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
