YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
