dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
they're like a gay fantastic four
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize
