Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
