if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
