i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize