Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
