A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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