i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
