her vagine was all disorganized.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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