I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
