I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Life is so much better after having sex.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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