since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
