Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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