This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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