I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize