why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize