my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
