Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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