if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
