Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
