so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
