Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
