You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize