I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
