its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
