do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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