Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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