Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize