you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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