I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize