I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
