His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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