i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize