we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
