And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
