i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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