hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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