so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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